The Elvz from the Hood opened the season with a win but have lost every match since.  At this rate, they are guaranteed an Underbowl seat and a chance to defend their title as the biggest loser.

After a narrow (2-1) loss to the Short and the Restless, the Elvz bombed their next two matches in 3-1 loses (Aztecas and Ulthuan Lords), and barely showed up at the next two matches with a pair of 3-0 loses (Triple Skulls and Power Slaves).

Furthermore, the Elvz have continued to dispute accusations of doping.  With more and more players missing matches for liver-damage related problems, the team has officially said "there's just a couple players (about 6 to 8 of them) who have alcohol problems and we're working with the players to re-integrate them into a healthy training schedule."

The coach has stated "we remain optimistic that in our remaining matches we will get into the playoffs and we may have a low seed this season, but we're going to win.  No price is to high, we're prepared to face the certain mauling and probable death of every one of our linemen."

- Arch

The Elvz from tha Hood went all the way in the Underbowl for a full triple-header.

The first match was against Jihad and there was a lot of inducment cash to bring them in.  At game time, we found out that they had found a Mysterious Old Medicine Man to shore-up their team.  Those humans tried, and they ran around the field generally being a nuissance, but in the end, the Elf steroid program was just too much and we got a solid 4-1 victory.

The second match was against the Hydra Lords, the classic battle of High Elf passing game versus the Dark Elf trickery and running game.  The Hydra Lords came with a whole stack of dirty-tricks stuffed up their sleves.  The Elvz used their most succesful strategy: get luckier than the other team.  Well, it was a nasty battle.  The Elvz pounded the Hydra Lords and by the end of the match, most of the Dark Elves could be found either in the first-aid tent or the penalty box.  It was another solid 4-1 victory for the High Elvs.

With all that time on the pitch in one day, many of the Elvz were really getting the hang of some of the new tricks that they've been practicing.  John von Bomb finally learned to kick the ball *on the pitch*, Gnarly George was going for it without falling over, Clif Crasher was side-stepping around opposing players and on top of all that, Wild Bill was starting to leap over opposing players to bring his bull-strength full-bore on the ball carrier *and* Johnny, famous Johnny who's been holding the front line for two full seasons also joined the Elvz 'roid program beefing up like Sick Sid, Wild Bill, and Hideous Hugh before him.

So we were ready for anything. And "anything" in the Underbowl final was the Moonlight Embrace.   Moonlight Embrace, well, I don't remember what the heck induced them to the pitch, but whatever it was, it was fueled by a violent rage.  They smashed, and they bashed, and the blew the Elvz down.  Johnny suffered a broken jaw, Tom tha Bomb was badly hurt, Jittery Jim a serious concussion, and Sick Sid who had already smashed his left hip against the Darkland Warriors got his right hip smashed.  He'll never move faster than a Zombie again...

If there's one thing Nuffle loves, it's the blood of hard-fighting teams so Elvz purchased victory with gallons of their blood.  It was a long hard grind to a 2-0 shut-out to take the Underbowl victory!

We won!   And it's time to break-out the golf clubs... Or catheters for the likes of Sick Sid.

Happy golfing , everyone!

- Arch

The qualifier game against the Rotten Corps started out in a Blizzard... An ill omen for the Elvz.  But on the very first block, the Beast of Nurgle was knocked out and would remain off the pitch for eventually the whole half. 

The first half went well.  The Elvz played their game, kept it steady, held the ball until phase 6 to open up the scoring.  The Beast remained knocked out, and the Elvz held the Rotten Corps back, but then it started.  First with a casualty and a couple KO.  But then at the half, none of of the KOs game back, but the Beast did.

During the Nurgle's drive they went on to get 7 Elvz off the pitch.  The Elvz did hold them to phase six before they scored, but then at the end of the drive, none of the KOs came back, or rather one did, but Nurgle just put him in the injury box for his troubles.

So with half a team and three phases the Elvz stacked on one side of the pitch and made their push for a regulation victory.  And the weather had finally cleared up.  But the Nurgle just ran them down like dogs.  Without enough players to either cover the ball carrier or get players into the open, the drive went nowhere.

But then came OT... And still, none of the Elvz came back from KO.  But they won the coin toss so they setup again to try to rush the ball in while they still had what few players they did.   And it was close.  They had a bit of luck in that when the Nurgle hit, the ball stayed in play but by now, cleats slick with the blood of their commrades, the Elvz just could not get away from the Nurgle players. 

Even as the Nurgle picked up the ball and trotted it back up the pitch, simple plays to get into defensive positions just weren't working.  They needed a couple more hands on the pitch, and finally a Nurgle pestigor was able to just walk the ball in for the game.

Oh the indignity!   Oh the shame!  Bumped out by the lowest seed in the qualifying round.  Ground do death on the pitch.  I the words of a great player "It's over!  The season is over, the playoffs is over, it's all over! *waa* *waa*" 

- Arch

The Elvz from the Hood finished a strong 7-3-0 this season. 

Game 9 against the Set's Sentinels was a 4-1 slaughter. Nuffle must hate those Lizards.  They had one solid drive causing a couple casualties (nothing serious or that our apothecary couldn't fix), a KO, and scoring a TD, but every other drive any and every bobble of the ball or crash of players went in the Elvz favour.

Game 10 against the Dead Menace started with strong first half for the Elvz who got a 2-0 lead going into half-time but then the pain began.  The three top players from the Elvz (Wild Bill, Hideous Hugh, and Clif Crasher, worth almost 500K between them) all suffered serious injuries.  The Dead Menace score one TD to bring the game in tight, but in the end the Elvz were saved by the bell.

Right now we're just focusing on the playoffs.  Our players are being given the rest they need so we can have everyone back on the pitch for our next game. 

The standings were close going into the week 10 match ups.  Our understanding is that the results off the Steel Dragons game will determine who gets the last bye in B league.  If the Steel Dragons do not win, the Elvz should get it, otherwise we will have to play a qualifying match.  We are eagerly waiting the league's final decisions on any outstanding matches.

- Archnaaaagle